Best Post EVER!!!!!!

This was a conversation I had with one of my pseudo-cousins. The guy is 13 and the conversation takes quite a turn. Hold in mind that this is a child. A kid who's 13 years old. For the poor shmuck's sake he shall henceforth be referred to as 13kid. Towards the end I'm just saying shit to make him react. Here it is:

• 13kid :
• hey dude i seriously need ur help
• how do i propose a gal
• 8:17pmMe :
• hold on
• 8:17pm13kid :
• ya
• 8:19pmMe :
• why???
• 8:19pm13kid :
• cause i am krazy of her
• 8:19pmMe :
• ok?
• 8:20pm13kid :
• here is her pic
• 8:20pmMe :
• and does she like you?
• 8:20pm13kid :
• i don noe
• (Link removed)
• 8:20pmMe :
• then what's the point?
• Do you talk to her at all??
• 8:21pm13kid :
• she's in b'lore
• how can i
• 8:21pmMe :
• what's the point of asking her out if you can't Me :et her???
• talk on the phone?
• 8:22pm13kid :
• i donno her no.
• 8:22pmMe :
• does she even know you?
• 8:22pm13kid :
• dude she's ma ex van mate
• yup
• she noes Me :
• 8:22pmMe :
• talk to her on fb
• or chat
• get her number
• after you talk for soMe :tiMe :
• just say
• give Me : your number
• if she asks why
• just say you'd like to talk to her soMe :tiMe :
• if you can find the tiMe :
• do that first
• don't bloody dive into stuff you can't handle
• 8:23pm13kid :
• k thnx for advice
• 8:26pmMe :
• how coMe : all of a sudden man?
• how old is she?
• 8:26pm13kid :
• i found her profile 2day
• i year elder
• 8:26pmMe :
• how old is that?
• 15?
• 8:27pm13kid :
• she's jus in 11 std
• 8:27pmMe :
• what's her age man?>
• 16?
• 8:27pm13kid :
• i donno
• 8:27pmMe :
• how do you know she doesn't have a guy?
• 8:27pm13kid :
• gud question
• 8:28pmMe :
• what do you wanna achieve by asking her out?
• 8:28pm13kid :
• love boy
• 8:28pmMe :
• what?
• 8:28pm13kid :
• looooooooveeeeeeeeeeeee
• 8:29pmMe :
• love boy?
• ?????????????
• love boy?
• wtf?
• what???
• ok
• first
• you're not in love
• it's just a phase
• and also
• 8:30pm13kid :
• nono
• 8:31pmMe :
• you won't realize it now
• I hate to sound like a condescending dick
• but facts man
• anyway
• so after TELLING her
• what do you think will happen?
• 8:31pm13kid :
• mmmmmmmmm
• if she accepts i will be happy
• if not i will cry my entire life
• 8:32pmMe :
• No you won't
• 8:32pm13kid :
• y
• 8:32pmMe :
• you won't cry your entire life
• that's a fact
• 8:32pm13kid :
• yyyyyy??????/
• 8:33pmMe :
• I can promise you both my balls and ten thousand bucks
• that you won't give a shit about it after soMe : tiMe :
• but really
• now
• if she says yes
• what'll you do?
• what happens next?
• she's in blore
• so what next?
• 8:33pm13kid :
• den wat do i do
• i want her
• 8:33pmMe :
• That's what I'm asking you
• 8:33pm13kid :
• i lyk her for 5 years
• 8:33pmMe :
• what do you do?
• want her?
• want her how?
• 8:34pm13kid :
• yayayayayayayayayayayayya
• 8:35pmMe :
• HOW DO YOU WANT HER??
• WHAT DO YOU ME :AN YOU WANT HER??????
• ?
• 8:35pm13kid :
• i wanna live wid her
• 8:35pmMe :
• live with her?
• 8:35pm13kid :
• ya and marry
• 8:35pmMe :
• .....
• wow
• 8:36pm13kid :
• and i told ma mom i will marry only a northy
• 8:36pmMe :
• what?
• are you racist?
• 8:36pm13kid :
• no
• i lyk deir fud
• 8:36pmMe :
• ..........
• what?
• no
• seriously.
• .what.??
• 8:36pm13kid :
• food dey make
• 8:37pmMe :
• what??
• so you'll marry them??
• 8:37pm13kid :
• yup
• 8:37pmMe :
• why don't you marry the guy who cooks down at the restaurant?
• He makes excellent food doesn't he?
• 8:37pm13kid :
• shut up dufus
• 8:38pmMe :
• go on
• 8:38pm13kid :
• dis is true luv
• lyk vinnaithandi
• 8:38pmMe :
• continue
• I would like to hear more
• 8:39pm13kid :
• wat?
• 8:39pmMe :
• continue
• you were saying soMe :thing about true love
• 8:39pm13kid :
• frm my heart
• 8:40pmMe :
• yes?
• 8:41pmMe :
• and what else?
• would you do anything for her?
• 8:41pm13kid :
• sacrifice
• 8:41pmMe :
• like what?
• 8:41pm13kid :
• death
• 8:41pmMe :
• would you sacrifice your computer?
• 8:42pm13kid :
• no my body
• 8:42pmMe :
• but not your computer?
• what kinda love man?
• really
• I thought you LOVED her
• 13kid :
• ya
• 8:44pm13kid :
• k so u r tellin i shud forget her
• 8:44pmMe :
• no
• it's your choice
• go for it
• take the leap
• 8:44pm13kid :
• k
• kk
• 8:45pmMe :
• taMe : the lion!
• 8:45pm13kid :
• kkk

Seriously. How could I resist posting this?
Leather

A Day In My Life.

This happened on the day I got my bike back from the mechanic. The guy told me it was all good. Little did I know how wrong he was going to be proven. I took it out for a spin around 9.30 pm. At 10 pm one of the tires blows up. Now I'm left with a bike that won't run( how it's supposed to) and I'm PISSED! My first thoughts about the situation were pretty calm," THAT LYING MOTHERFUCKER WAS LYING TO ME!!!! I'M GONNA DROWN HIS CHILDREN IN BATTERY ACID!!". From this point on I will switch to what I typed earlier because I'm a lazy fuck:

I went out to get some stuff. While I was on Harrington Road it got punctured. At 10 PM. So I had to walk my ass off, with a broken slipper no less, to search for a mechanic. I couldn't find one so I had to walk back. I then pushed it for ages before this drunk watchman saw me. THEN I convinced the drunk watchman to let me park it inside.


While I was pushing it in to park, I stepped, with my broken slippered leg, on a HUGE fucking pile of red ants. I got the shit bitten out of me. Then the drunk watchman decides to tell me the story of his life, how his son abandoned him and earns like 38 grand or some shit. He asks me my name a dozen or so times. Finally he tells me to go home safe a million times. I took a fucking auto which totally ripped me off. And now I'm sitting here.

But, I've learned to appreciate the little things. Like the fact that I bought coffee, My grandmom gave me chocolates before I came here, I have a granola bar, And my room's way colder than outside. Hence, Whatever.

Now I will switch back to normal. So this is when I start thinking about how bad life can get. Shit could get much, much worse. Really. I could have been forced to blow the drunk watchman. I could have not bought coffee. I could have crashed and died. I could have not bought coffee again. So its alright. I'm pissed but what the fuck. Shit happens.

Leather

A Day In My Life.